The Unconditional Love of a Mother: A Bond Like No Other

The writer of this blog was interrupted at least 10 times before she could even type out the first line. By whom, you may ask? By a 1.5-year-old adorable dictator who rules over this household and her blessed mom. In true dictator style, her demands are endless. Food, milk, attention, someone to read her books with, someone to play with, someone to take her to the park, and the list goes on. 

Her mother, who is the writer of this blog (it is important to remind you and her of this fact again), is tired even before it’s 11 a.m. Does the mother stop working? No. Does she stop giving in to every demand listed above? Also No. You see, there are other people in the household she can eat, play, and read her books with. But every few minutes, she looks for her mother, and her mother looks for her. #momlife, right? Such is the bond of a mother and her child – there is nothing quite like it. 

They say when a child is born, so is a mother. So, becoming a parent is like being reborn. And when you are raising children, you are raising yourself too. If you ask me what I remember from the beginning of my motherhood journey, apart from being permanently exhausted and sleep-deprived, it is the absolute, fierce, and all-encompassing love I felt for this tiny being that I brought into this world. I would never have imagined I was capable of loving someone so unconditionally and purely. I had heard the saying, “You never truly understand love until you become a parent”. Today, I know what it means. 

I am sure a lot of us can relate more to our mothers once we become mothers. When you prod gently at your earliest childhood memories, aren’t our mothers at the centre of the most beautiful ones? 

Even when my child kept me up all night, even when my mind went numb from listening to all the crying and tantrums, I lost patience, I felt angry, I shed tears, but somehow the love for my child stayed the same, or in some moments, even increased, if it’s at all possible. So what is it that allows mothers to give up everything that was ever of any importance to them and still smile lovingly at their child and be willing to do the same the next day, the next, and the next? Well, I don’t have any answers apart from wondering if mothers are just made this way. A mother’s love truly knows no bounds.

I consider myself to be a fierce, independent woman who proudly puts her needs first as much as any other person. So, before I became a mother, I promised myself that I would not lose myself completely in my role as a mother. That if I was hungry, I would eat a bite before I could tend to my child. If I was sleepy, I would request a family member to look after my child for an hour while I took a much-needed nap. I would ask for help with my child when it all became too much to handle. 

Don’t get me wrong, I did try my best to do all of the above and care for myself while caring for my child. I am a grateful mom who has a lot of help, and as time passes by, it has become easier to prioritise my needs as well. However, it would be wrong on my part if I did not tell you that every single minute of every single day of the last 1.5 years of my #momlife, I have wanted to do everything for my child all on my own while not caring a bit about whether I ate, slept, or rested on time. Mind you, I didn’t do it with a smile on my face all the time, neither was I ecstatic or euphoric to put my needs so far down my list that they didn’t even matter. But that’s what I did. 

If you were to ask me why, I could give you two reasons. One, I thought and still think that my only job in the world is to tend to my child’s every need – be it food, sleep, love, attention, or time. Two, and don’t tell my husband I said this, but I felt and still feel that no one can take as good a care of my child as I can. The joy of motherhood also lies in the fact that the first person that your child wants anytime, for anything, is Mumma! Right? Whether it is a mother-daughter or a mother-son, it truly is a bond like no other. 

One of my favourite motherhood moments is when my child wakes up in the morning, and still groggy and not completely alert, calls out to me with her arms or her words. I live for these small joys of motherhood, but I would also like to tell you that it is not always a bed of roses. Of course not. Motherhood is hard and demanding and takes a lot out of you. But it also fulfills me in a way nothing else ever has. 

This blog is a letter I write to myself, celebrating motherhood and honoring this incredible journey that I get to be a part of. Of all the inspirational motherhood quotes I know, this one is by far my favourite. I draw all my parenting inspiration from it whenever I think I am being too harsh on myself. 

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”

• Jill Churchill